Push that reset button every day!

The new year provides an opportunity for each of us to reflect on lessons learned in the past 12 months and to reset life goals. I sometimes ponder how long it takes to arrive at the point where we avoid making choices that lead us to the same uncomfortable place. They may involve neglecting to take care of ourselves, failing to set and follow through on goals, or responding poorly to situations where people have hurt us. Whatever the case, the result is the same—an endless walk on a “hamster wheel” that goes nowhere.

For me, this past year has brought increased awareness of how quickly time is passing and how easy it is to not make the most of the time we have. I remember my beloved grandmother who firmly believed that taking time for granted is an irreversible mistake. By the time we realize our mistake, we find ourselves on the other side of an event that has disrupted our foundations. Clearly, we cannot stop time or reverse events that have already occurred.

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Tragic world events of 2015 remind us all that we cannot take life for granted. Time is a gift we should use for good, not for engaging in unproductive or destructive activities. Perhaps you are among those who pledged at the beginning of 2015 to use your talents and gifts to improve lives around you. Or you made a commitment to exercise more or eat better. If you’re like most, the result has been a mixed bag of successes and failures. The point is, we often find ourselves pivoting away from life-improving goals toward places of familiarity that do not move us forward.

How do we stay engaged in working toward goals that move us forward? We push the reset button every day! Each day, we resolve to be our best, fully committing ourselves to excellence in all we do, whether it’s exercise, work, developing friendships, or nurturing family relationships. Like you, I have learned many lessons over the years. One is, if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t improve the lives of those around me.

As you ponder what you want to accomplish in 2016, remember to invest in yourself so you can be that change agent who positively impacts the lives of others.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Touching lives

The other day I was looking at photos from my college days, and came across one of my nursing classmates and me. The picture stirred memories of one of my favorite professors, truly a role model of what nursing is all about. I recalled how she walked with such purpose and deliberation. I remembered enjoying her visits with me as I provided care to patients and how much I wanted, like her, to inspire and motivate them.

She believed nurses are charged with the responsibility of touching every life they encounter, whether in the hospital or community. Everywhere we go, she taught us, we should remember that we represent a noble profession that should never be dishonored by unkind behavior toward another; that we are being watched by patients, families, and friends; and that we truly never know how many lives we touch on a daily basis.

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We all have cared for patients who may not have been kind to us during our interaction with them, which could have negatively influenced our perspectives about them. Interestingly, one of my colleagues shared a story about how a discharged patient returned with a beautifully written note, thanking the nurses for changing his life. The staff was shocked, because no one believed the patient regarded any of them positively. Listening to her story took me back to the principle my former professor instilled in me about showing unconditional regard toward patients, colleagues, friends, and families. Doing so provides nurses with a platform from which they can inspire all with whom they interact.

Touching lives. Isn’t that what nursing is all about?

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those the promote products or services will not be posted.

Mental illness is not a dirty word!

Have you ever felt embarrassed about seeking out counseling or therapy? Or were uncomfortable about sharing with friends or family that you needed mental health support? I have worked in the mental health field for a number of years and remain concerned about the persisting stigma toward those seeking mental health treatment. I also wonder how many people suffer in silence due to the fear of disclosing that they need such treatment.

As nurses, we invest a great deal of time educating individuals to get yearly physical health screening, but how often do health providers ask about our mental health during those yearly exams? We have all witnessed tragedies across this nation that result from lack of mental health interventions. There is no question that ignoring symptoms of mental distress is not wise and usually results in poor outcomes.

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Without question, nurses, through daily encounters with patients in both in- and outpatient settings, are well positioned to address the mental health of those patients. Each year, thousands of students across the United States are trained in the art and science of psychiatric nursing. We emphasize the importance of developing a therapeutic relationship with clients and understanding the origin and treatment of mental health problems. Additionally, students are made aware of the impact of stigma on individuals who experience mental distress. So, nursing has an effective platform from which to address mental health issues.

Strategically, it would be great if more RNs specializing in mental health were present in larger numbers in educational settings from kindergarten through college, because early prevention is an effective approach for detecting and treating symptoms of mental illness. Just as we promote yearly screening for diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol, we should invest the same energy in screening for mental illness. Each of us should commit today to encouraging friends, families, and colleagues to seek out yearly mental health screenings.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

We debated; now what?

I recently completed jury duty for a three-month trial, during which I witnessed a complexity of human interaction that will stay with me for years to come. Like most of the jurors, I prayed I would not be picked but, to my surprise, I was selected. I came to embrace the experience because it reaffirmed for me that, no matter how passionate we feel about our perceptions, others can listen to the same information and come to completely different conclusions. It may sound simplistic, but it is this reality that causes an impasse in our everyday discourse.

The experience reminded me of how often we find ourselves at odds with others who see or perceive the world differently from us—and how challenging this can be when we are certain about the veracity of our perceptions, their accordance with truth.

During our deliberations, we conceptually mapped out the evidence, yet our interpretations differed, which created passionate debates. This process illuminated to me how important it is for us not to interpret another's disagreement as some referendum on our intellectual ability. Like most of the jurors, I found it extremely challenging to remain neutral as we navigated through the morass of evidence. However, I found new strength in learning to really listen without prejudice and to bracket others' opinions without personalizing them.


As we interact with our colleagues, friends, or family, it is more important to listen to them than to be so focused on being “right.” Like jurors, we may come to the same conclusion, or we may not. The important thing for us to remember is, we can all hear the same information and come to different interpretations. And if we do, it is best to be at peace with our differences rather than allow them to divide us. The experience provided me insight into creating a pathway to walk away in peace after healthy debate has occurred. I plan to practice this every day, and hope you do, too!

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

For men in nursing

This past year, I had the wonderful opportunity to collaborate with the book-publishing editorial team at the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International (STTI) and male nurse leaders across the country to produce my just-released book, Man Up! A Practical Guide for Men in Nursing. When STTI approached me last year to oversee this work, I was thrilled, because it meant I would have the chance to collaborate with fabulous male nurse leaders nationwide.

A must-read for anyone seeking to navigate the exciting maze of the nursing profession, we tackle issues in this book that range from choosing a specialty to implementing diversity and administrative leadership—in both academic and service settings—and provide step-by-step strategies for maximizing the endless opportunities our noble profession has to offer. Each chapter will inspire you and your colleagues to break unhealthy traditions to forge new pathways that benefit nurses, here and abroad.

I dedicated this book to my grandmother, who exemplified courage and leadership, and if she were living today, she would be proud of this accomplishment. As my grandmother inspired me, I hope my book will inspire men to consider leadership in both academic and service settings, as well as in national nursing organizations where, still to date, we are poorly represented. Choosing a career in nursing opened doors for me, but even after gaining entrance, I observed institutional “glass ceilings” that benefit a few, but not the many. I hope this book will keep the issue of equity for men in nursing “front page news.”

I am so proud to have led this extraordinary effort, and I encourage you to spread the word about Man Up! A Practical Guide for Men in Nursing—to students, clinicians, administrators, academicians and your families.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Sometimes, we just need to chill!

Do you find yourself spinning sometimes on that never-ending spinning wheel? I’m guessing your answer is yes. Every one of us, whether we work in academia or the clinical arena, finds ourselves often simply overwhelmed by work overload. The demands of our profession exceed our capacity to manage work-related stressors. It is amazing how many of us fail to realize the high cost of not taking care of ourselves and, conversely, that the investment we make in our mental and physical health yields rich dividends.

The recent loss of a colleague reminded me just how important it is for us to invest in our mental and physical health. We are no good to anyone if we cannot take care of ourselves. It is incumbent upon us to refresh ourselves through activities that rejuvenate our inner spirit. Sometimes, we just need to chill!

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Your day will come!

Have you ever found yourself getting discouraged because you work hard, just want to be recognized for what you do, and it’s not happening? Well, you are not alone. Having come from a large family, I learned early on about the challenges of distinguishing oneself as a game changer when surrounded by sheer talent. I was fortunate to have a smart mother who taught me not to use others as my yardstick, but to challenge myself to go beyond what I am asked to do.

The other day, a colleague and long-time friend was lamenting to me about never getting that award and, despite submitting numerous grant applications, just not being able to attract the attention of the National Institutes of Health. That conversation inspired me to blog about this subject, because I am acquainted with those feelings.

I know the easy road is to disparage oneself, but I will not go there because I believe everyone eventually does receive his or her just reward. The important thing to remember is that acclaim may not come the way we forecasted—in the form of awards or national recognition—but, if we stay on course, we will reap the fruit of our labor.

My mother used to tell me that the universe has a way of steering us toward our destiny, as long as we believe in our purpose. The other lesson I learned from her is to stop limiting myself to departmental awards, or other typical forms of recognition, but instead, to open myself up to infinite possibilities. It is those words of my mother that keep me going and believing that, although the sun seems to shine more quickly on others, hard work will eventually pay dividends. They may not come in the form we anticipate, but they will manifest in ways that exceed even our expectations!

From Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Pass the torch!

I am constantly amazed at the opportunities I have to mentor another male into considering nursing. I take great pleasure in sharing with others how choosing a career in nursing was one of the best decisions I made as a young person.

One day, as I sat in my office, a young man happened by and stopped to ask if he could speak to me about men in nursing. You don’t need to guess what I did. I motioned him inside my office and sat him down. His face beamed as I shared stories about my days as a student, as well interesting clinical cases I had encountered throughout my career. I was thrilled by the numerous questions he posed. I could feel his passion for making a difference, and I thought to myself, “Yes, this young man will make a fantastic nurse.” As he left, I knew our chance encounter was just that, because I had not planned on being in the office that day.

As I reflect, I am glad I was there and, more importantly, that I had the opportunity to meet this wonderful young man, who is clearly on his way to becoming a nurse. You know, so often we get busy and do not take the time to talk to prospective students, or we are simply too overwhelmed by all that is expected of us and unintentionally make ourselves unavailable.

I remember learning from a wise professor a long time ago to always leave my door open, both literally and figuratively, because we never know who may come knocking. Looking back, I say my professor was right. After all, it was a chance encounter that influenced me to choose nursing. The individual was an ER nurse who told me to “hold to my dream,” that I would end up doing what I was meant to do. All I can say is, I will continue passing the torch, and I think you should do the same.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published for the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Focus on your legacy, not the footnotes!

Have you ever wondered why mentors or colleagues betray you or do things they know are detrimental to your career? Ever since I can remember, I have pondered this phenomenon. I recall expending a lot of energy trying to understand their motives—in other words, the “why" question. It took me a long time to make peace with the fact that, no matter how much you revere a nurse or how kind a colleague is to your face, he or she can betray you in a second in the worst way.

Like you, I have heard countless stories of how malicious gossip, spread by those with an appetite for cynicism, has damaged a nurse’s reputation The lesson I had to learn was to separate the person’s actions from the noble profession of nursing.

When I decided to become a nurse, it was more than a career decision. It was a choice motivated, in part, by an internal sense that my call to nursing was to heal and help others live a life of quality and, more importantly, integrity. I have been privileged during my life’s journey to know inspiring individuals who happen to be nurses. They are people I can trust and turn to for advice and wise counsel. Unfortunately, as with some of you, I have also experienced betrayal and often wondered how we advance our profession by hurting other nurses.

Well, through the years, I have ceased asking myself that question and, instead, decided to focus on the legacy I want to leave. In trying to fix nurses who engage in destructive behaviors, we eventually lose our selves and our purpose.

So, here is my advice. No matter how tempting it is to seek revenge, don’t. Instead, focus on what brought you to nursing, and resolve to be a healing rather than a destructive force. Smile, because when your life journey ends, you will be remembered for the investment you made in improving people’s lives. More importantly, the legacy of your nursing career will outlive any negative footnotes created about you by those who have sadly lost sight of the core values of our noble profession.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Cracking the glass ceiling

In my travels, I have had the opportunity to speak to a number of male nursing students who underscored the need for men in nursing to pursue leadership. While some nurse leaders dismiss the significance of the gender gap, it has a profound impact on how men progress in the profession. Seeing nurses, who are male, in leadership roles provides inspiration to budding clinicians and scholars. Additionally, it sends an important tangible message that, with hard work and perseverance, men can carve their path in a female-dominated profession. For men who enter schools of nursing or are employed at hospitals that lack gender diversity, it is not as easy as it may seem.

I recall one of my female colleagues in medicine sharing how she attended a conference where she was the only female on a panel. I could feel her angst as she described her discomfort. Reflecting upon our conversation made me realize nursing’s moral obligation to develop pathways that increase the number of men at the bedside as well as at the administrative level. There is no doubt in my mind that men in nursing still experience marginalization. However, I am encouraged by initiatives promulgated by the American Association of Colleges of Nursing (AACN) and others to diversify the profession by gender.

To dispel myths that, unfortunately, are still pervasive, it is essential that men be visible at the bedside and at academic and administrative levels. The transition has begun, and I am thrilled. I charge all schools of nursing to not only think about recruitment, but also consider developing clinical and administrative pathways that allow men to continue cracking the glass ceiling.

Photo credit: Comstock Images/Thinkstock
For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

It takes a real man to be a nurse!

I have served as faculty adviser to the Male Association of Nursing at the University of Pennsylvania (MAN-UP) for five years, and these young men inspire me by their leadership. The concept of MAN-UP is simple: “Be leaders, be mentors, and serve your community.” What more could we ask of our nursing students?

Since its inception, MAN-UP has provided an important voice for male nursing students, and has developed and implemented successful programs targeting men’s health. In particular, the students recruited an NFL athlete, who spoke about the importance of men receiving yearly physical exams, and a noted author, who shared how to navigate tall mountains.

Soon after MAN-UP was formed, the concept caught fire, and I began to receive calls from nursing schools all over the United States, as well as Canada, inquiring how to start a male student nursing association. I was moved by their interest, because it validated the importance of our group in recruiting qualified male students and addressing men’s health issues. As a result, MAN-UP has mentored other nursing schools on starting their own male nursing associations.

MAN-UP has been featured in media outlets for its campus-wide work. Specifically, we hosted the first men’s mental program, focusing on campus suicides, symptoms of depression and providing depression screenings to all interested students. In recognition of the organization’s work, the University of Pennsylvania School of Nursing has twice been awarded the prestigious “Best School in Nursing” award by American Assembly for Men in Nursing.

These are our future nursing leaders, and their compassion to help their peers and serve their community epitomizes what nursing is all about—being leaders, being mentors and serving the community. This is why I am inspired.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing.

"I was being a nurse!"

During a discussion about World AIDS Day, I was asked why I had decided to become an HIV/AIDS clinician and researcher at a time when choosing such a career was not popular. The answer was simple: When I was a nursing student, I encountered, during an evening clinical, a young woman diagnosed with AIDS and was told that we were not allowed to provide care to her. You see, we had minimal instruction back then about providing nursing care to those diagnosed with AIDS.

I was aware of the stigma this young woman was experiencing, evidenced visibly by the sign on her door indicating she had AIDS. Being the inquisitive student, I meandered over toward her room because I could hear she was in distress. I opened the door and saw she had dropped her fork on the floor and was clearly too weak to pick it up. Smiling at her, I told her I would take care of it, not to worry. I removed her tray, warmed up her food and retrieved new silverware. When I returned to her room, I sat and fed her, as she was clearly too weak to feed herself. I remember she looked so sad and distraught and wanted desperately to touch my hand. So, as I fed her, she held my hand and just said, “Thank you.”

Upon leaving her room, I was greeted by my instructor, who inquired about my presence in this patient’s room. She did not look too happy. I could feel the eyes of others upon me, and I responded, almost instinctively, “I was being a nurse!” I knew I would receive some corrective counseling, but that young woman’s eyes haunted me, and I vowed I would never let another person with HIV/AIDS endure such treatment.

That moment was my epiphany, as I intuitively knew this was my calling and that, whatever lay ahead, somehow this encounter was preparing me for what was to come.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Snap to it, nurses!

The other day, a colleague and I were commiserating on challenges encountered during our time as nursing students. We had some tough times, we agreed, but had to admit there were nurses who were terrific role models and simply unforgettable. As we reminisced, I shared an experience I had as a senior nursing student during a clinical rotation on a telemetry unit.

The culture on the unit was that, when a physician came to the floor, the nurses were expected to give up their seats and clear the nursing station. I had witnessed this numerous times and thought it was not only silly but also demeaning to our profession. I could not figure out why the nurses were so afraid to continue their charting or stay in their seats, and I decided it was time for action. I intentionally did not tell my classmates about my plan, because I feared it might get back to my clinical instructor. Nevertheless, I believed it was the right thing to do.

The next morning, after I had completed a.m. care and administered medications, I was standing near my patient’s door, looking over my notes, when I heard one of the nurses say, “Here he comes!” As I watched them clear the area, I thought, “How could they leave me standing here alone?” and my heart started racing. This particular physician was known for snapping his fingers to get your attention, or if he wanted you to follow him into a patient’s room. As he approached, I watched out of the corner of my eye. In typical fashion, he did not speak as he began poring through the charts, but a moment later, I felt him staring at me.

Then it happened. Snap, snap, snap went his fingers, and I vividly recall feeling fright, and a compulsion to flight. After all, I was a student. I heard it again: Snap, snap, snap! “Didn’t you hear me call you?” he asked.

I cannot tell you from where I mustered the courage but, having seen enough, I responded, “Yes, I heard you snapping your fingers, but let me introduce myself. My name is Chris, and I am a senior nursing student.” Looking quite stunned, he said, “Well, Chris, could you give me an update on Patient X?” and I said, “Sure.” Upon leaving, he patted me on the back, and smiled.

What happened the following day was even more remarkable. When he came back to the unit, he said, “Hello, Chris. Want to go on rounds with me?” Everyone looked shocked! For the moment, finger snapping was history, and I began to see a gradual shift toward more assertive behavior from the nurses. So you see, Gandhi had it right. The best course of action is to “be the change you wish to see.”

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Nursing fundamentals: A lesson in persistence

Do you have a professor or instructor who left an indelible footprint that shaped the trajectory of your nursing journey? As you ponder, let me tell you about my fundamentals of nursing instructor who introduced me to the proper method for making a bed. I will call her Mary. She was a business-like instructor who operated with precision in the lab.

For you nurses, remember how we had to learn to change both an occupied and unoccupied bed? As I write this, I recall my trepidation, because I both feared and admired Mary. Besides my mom, she was the first woman to reinforce for me the seriousness of bed-making. However, she went further. She stipulated, “Do it in less than five minutes!” and she strictly adhered to that time frame.

Mary told me I would struggle in nursing if I did not master the art of making a bed in less than five minutes. Well, I was determined to master this skill, and Mary, who took a liking to me, kept me in the lab until I had perfected it, and I did. I must admit, I struggled to understand her obsession with quickly making a bed. However, as I grew older, I had an epiphany. Yes, the bed-making was important but, more importantly, Mary taught me the art of elegant persistence in every aspect of nursing practice. Who would have thought a remedial lesson on bed-making would later serve a larger purpose, to remind me it is persistence that exemplifies the elegance of nursing practice?

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.