This season, give of yourself!

Can you believe the holidays are upon us? I am amazed at how quickly the time has passed. As we celebrate with family and friends, we need to remain cognizant not only about our mental health, but others as well. While the holidays are a happy time for many of us, they are not for some. This season can be a time of sadness for those who have experienced loss or are alone.

This year, as I saw the holidays approaching, I challenged myself and friends to make an effort to reach out to those who may be estranged from their families or find themselves struggling to get through the holidays—perhaps by inviting them to dinner or making ourselves available. It is so easy to be consumed by our own happiness that we fail to look beyond our own comfort and joy.

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During this season, let’s reach out, bearing in mind that bringing joy to others is the greatest gift of all.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

I am a nurse

Like many of you, I have been following the Ebola situation, both here and abroad. Listening to media reports is reminiscent of the early days of the AIDS epidemic when we were all trying to find our way through endless speculation about viral transmission. As I watched the two infected nurses from Texas brought out of obscurity and thrust into the limelight—a place I am certain they never imagined they would find themselves—I was pleased to hear so many commentators mentioning the important role nurses have within the health care system.

One physician observed, “It is important we do not demonize nurses, as they are brave professionals who are on the front lines, saving patients’ lives.” Despite the intense political debates currently taking place, nurses are still the most trusted of health care professionals, and patients look to us when searching for answers in these uncertain times. No matter what the threat is to public health, nurses will be there to provide guidance, as we have for centuries, with these comforting words: “It’s going to be OK. I am a nurse.”

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those the promote products or services will not be posted.

I wouldn't change a thing!

One aspect I love about the profession of nursing is the tremendous opportunity it offers to pursue various career paths. My students often ask how I ended up in academia and, if I could do things over again, would I have done something different. My answer is always the same: “No, I would not have changed a thing. I believe we are called to fulfill a purpose on this planet, and nursing has allowed me to make good on the commitment I made to my grandmother to be a force of healing in the world.”

Like many of you, I have worked in a variety of areas, but feel a profound sense of gratitude working in academia. As academicians, we are charged with the great responsibility of shaping future nurses—clinicians, scientists, educators—for a profession endowed with a plethora of opportunities. Whether in the hospital, community, or academic setting, our common bond is that we are nurses. All of us contribute in unique ways to ensure that we have a competent workforce for an ever-changing landscape. I do not know where my students will end up, but one thing for sure: By becoming members of the most trusted profession on this planet, they will use their talents and compassion to improve the lives of many.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Kind words go a long way

As nurses, we encounter families and friends of our patients. When loved ones with a vital interest in the outcome of a patient’s health are anxious, engaging with them can sometimes be challenging. As caregivers, we are sometimes questioned—grilled—about whether or not we know what we are doing, which can really test one’s capacity to be kind and compassionate.

Having been on the receiving end of some intense grilling, I am well aware of how easy it is to become defensive when our skills are questioned or challenged. Over time, I have grown to view these socratic interrogations as anxiety about the unknown and, for loved ones in distress, a means to gain control.

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If a family member or patient raises his or her voice to us, it is important to remember that responding with kind words is more likely to decrease anxiety while, at the same time, sending a strong message that you are listening to the concerns expressed. At the end of the day, we all just want to be heard and have our concerns validated. It’s just that, when we are under fire, it is so easy to forget this.

Validating the concerns of others is not saying you agree, but that you have heard them. The next time you find yourself challenged by a loud or anxious voice, remember that kind words are more likely to create a sense of validation, and that can help lead to an optimal outcome.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Touching lives

The other day I was looking at photos from my college days, and came across one of my nursing classmates and me. The picture stirred memories of one of my favorite professors, truly a role model of what nursing is all about. I recalled how she walked with such purpose and deliberation. I remembered enjoying her visits with me as I provided care to patients and how much I wanted, like her, to inspire and motivate them.

She believed nurses are charged with the responsibility of touching every life they encounter, whether in the hospital or community. Everywhere we go, she taught us, we should remember that we represent a noble profession that should never be dishonored by unkind behavior toward another; that we are being watched by patients, families, and friends; and that we truly never know how many lives we touch on a daily basis.

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We all have cared for patients who may not have been kind to us during our interaction with them, which could have negatively influenced our perspectives about them. Interestingly, one of my colleagues shared a story about how a discharged patient returned with a beautifully written note, thanking the nurses for changing his life. The staff was shocked, because no one believed the patient regarded any of them positively. Listening to her story took me back to the principle my former professor instilled in me about showing unconditional regard toward patients, colleagues, friends, and families. Doing so provides nurses with a platform from which they can inspire all with whom they interact.

Touching lives. Isn’t that what nursing is all about?

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those the promote products or services will not be posted.

Make men's health a priority!

I was standing in line at the grocer’s recently when I overheard a mother telling her son he needed more exercise, or he would end up looking like his “overweight father.” She continued, saying, “You know, your father never exercises, eats horrible, and his doctor has told him to change, or else.” Trying to be inconspicuous, I looked over at her son, and observed a young man, clearly struggling with his weight, eating a large candy bar. Looking over at me, the mother said, “My son is too young to have health problems.”

While these types of conversations can feel awkward and never come off with perfection, they are necessary if we are going to positively influence younger and older men to strive for good health. Well, this mother’s timing was impeccable, because June is Men’s Health Month! (Men’s Health Week, which begins Monday, 9 June 2014, concludes on Father’s Day, as observed in the United States.) I shared with her how a male friend had gained so much weight he developed diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure.

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I also told her my story had a happy ending because my friend began exercising, lost weight, and his cholesterol and blood sugar returned to normal levels. Amazed, she concurred that more men need to pay attention to their health. Of course, I took the opportunity to inform her that June is, indeed, Men’s Health Month, and that community events would be held, such as health fairs, that specifically target men’s health.

As you think about the men in your families and communities, let’s do more than just encourage them to check out all the activities in June that target men’s health. We need to go with them and support their efforts to be screened early for potential health problems.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Mental illness is not a dirty word!

Have you ever felt embarrassed about seeking out counseling or therapy? Or were uncomfortable about sharing with friends or family that you needed mental health support? I have worked in the mental health field for a number of years and remain concerned about the persisting stigma toward those seeking mental health treatment. I also wonder how many people suffer in silence due to the fear of disclosing that they need such treatment.

As nurses, we invest a great deal of time educating individuals to get yearly physical health screening, but how often do health providers ask about our mental health during those yearly exams? We have all witnessed tragedies across this nation that result from lack of mental health interventions. There is no question that ignoring symptoms of mental distress is not wise and usually results in poor outcomes.

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Without question, nurses, through daily encounters with patients in both in- and outpatient settings, are well positioned to address the mental health of those patients. Each year, thousands of students across the United States are trained in the art and science of psychiatric nursing. We emphasize the importance of developing a therapeutic relationship with clients and understanding the origin and treatment of mental health problems. Additionally, students are made aware of the impact of stigma on individuals who experience mental distress. So, nursing has an effective platform from which to address mental health issues.

Strategically, it would be great if more RNs specializing in mental health were present in larger numbers in educational settings from kindergarten through college, because early prevention is an effective approach for detecting and treating symptoms of mental illness. Just as we promote yearly screening for diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol, we should invest the same energy in screening for mental illness. Each of us should commit today to encouraging friends, families, and colleagues to seek out yearly mental health screenings.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Don't be afraid of change!

Have you ever wanted to pursue a dream but, when it came down to making a decision, you started to second-guess yourself and changed your mind? I know that feeling all too well; it’s fear of change. A wise person once told me, “Never get too comfortable in one spot because, if you do, you will wear a hole in the ground and start to sink.”

It made me think, Am I really afraid of change? Would I defer my dream because pursuing it would disrupt my comfort zone? I am of the opinion that, to truly maximize our potential, we must be willing to put ourselves out there and take risks, not recklessly, but after careful deliberation.

I think that wise person was telling me not to let my fear of disrupting the status quo be the deciding factor. If I give in to fear to avoid discomfort, I may miss out on a golden opportunity. We all have a purpose, and the pathway to bringing one’s purpose to fruition varies.

Facing a decision? Weigh the pros and cons carefully, and don't let fear keep you from moving outside your comfort zone. Opportunity may be showing you the next road to travel.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Take the high road!

We know disagreements are inevitable, but when they occur, we are often offended that our opinion isn’t accepted. Think of the last time you had a difference of opinion with a colleague, family member, or friend. Usually, there is a lot of emotion and, before the conversation ends, both parties to the disagreement want to feel vindicated—that he or she, by force of argument, has been proven right, the other person proven wrong.

Why is it so important to us that one be right, the other wrong? Why is it either/or? Is it possible that neither is right—or wrong—and we just see things differently? Usually, in the heat of the moment we are unable to be this reflective, because our emotional selves have pushed our intellectual selves into the back seat.

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A wise friend of mine once told me to always take the high road, which doesn’t mean you’re admitting to being wrong, but rather you are taking the initiative in choosing to agree to disagree. Now, I know what you are thinking: What if they are truly wrong? Well, they may or may not be, but until the other person has a sudden burst of insight, it is a waste of energy to continue the debate.

Being reflective in the heat of the moment is difficult, perhaps even impossible. So, after you have shared your point of view, and the recipient wants to continue rehashing or debating, simply take the high road by saying, “We can agree on at least one thing—we both have different perspectives, so let me reflect on yours."

I am not suggesting that this will resolve all difficult discourse, but I know one thing for sure, taking the high road will change the subject. Give it a try.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

We debated; now what?

I recently completed jury duty for a three-month trial, during which I witnessed a complexity of human interaction that will stay with me for years to come. Like most of the jurors, I prayed I would not be picked but, to my surprise, I was selected. I came to embrace the experience because it reaffirmed for me that, no matter how passionate we feel about our perceptions, others can listen to the same information and come to completely different conclusions. It may sound simplistic, but it is this reality that causes an impasse in our everyday discourse.

The experience reminded me of how often we find ourselves at odds with others who see or perceive the world differently from us—and how challenging this can be when we are certain about the veracity of our perceptions, their accordance with truth.

During our deliberations, we conceptually mapped out the evidence, yet our interpretations differed, which created passionate debates. This process illuminated to me how important it is for us not to interpret another's disagreement as some referendum on our intellectual ability. Like most of the jurors, I found it extremely challenging to remain neutral as we navigated through the morass of evidence. However, I found new strength in learning to really listen without prejudice and to bracket others' opinions without personalizing them.


As we interact with our colleagues, friends, or family, it is more important to listen to them than to be so focused on being “right.” Like jurors, we may come to the same conclusion, or we may not. The important thing for us to remember is, we can all hear the same information and come to different interpretations. And if we do, it is best to be at peace with our differences rather than allow them to divide us. The experience provided me insight into creating a pathway to walk away in peace after healthy debate has occurred. I plan to practice this every day, and hope you do, too!

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.