"I was being a nurse!"

During a discussion about World AIDS Day, I was asked why I had decided to become an HIV/AIDS clinician and researcher at a time when choosing such a career was not popular. The answer was simple: When I was a nursing student, I encountered, during an evening clinical, a young woman diagnosed with AIDS and was told that we were not allowed to provide care to her. You see, we had minimal instruction back then about providing nursing care to those diagnosed with AIDS.

I was aware of the stigma this young woman was experiencing, evidenced visibly by the sign on her door indicating she had AIDS. Being the inquisitive student, I meandered over toward her room because I could hear she was in distress. I opened the door and saw she had dropped her fork on the floor and was clearly too weak to pick it up. Smiling at her, I told her I would take care of it, not to worry. I removed her tray, warmed up her food and retrieved new silverware. When I returned to her room, I sat and fed her, as she was clearly too weak to feed herself. I remember she looked so sad and distraught and wanted desperately to touch my hand. So, as I fed her, she held my hand and just said, “Thank you.”

Upon leaving her room, I was greeted by my instructor, who inquired about my presence in this patient’s room. She did not look too happy. I could feel the eyes of others upon me, and I responded, almost instinctively, “I was being a nurse!” I knew I would receive some corrective counseling, but that young woman’s eyes haunted me, and I vowed I would never let another person with HIV/AIDS endure such treatment.

That moment was my epiphany, as I intuitively knew this was my calling and that, whatever lay ahead, somehow this encounter was preparing me for what was to come.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.