Kind words go a long way

As nurses, we encounter families and friends of our patients. When loved ones with a vital interest in the outcome of a patient’s health are anxious, engaging with them can sometimes be challenging. As caregivers, we are sometimes questioned—grilled—about whether or not we know what we are doing, which can really test one’s capacity to be kind and compassionate.

Having been on the receiving end of some intense grilling, I am well aware of how easy it is to become defensive when our skills are questioned or challenged. Over time, I have grown to view these socratic interrogations as anxiety about the unknown and, for loved ones in distress, a means to gain control.

Lighthaunter/iStock/Thinkstock

If a family member or patient raises his or her voice to us, it is important to remember that responding with kind words is more likely to decrease anxiety while, at the same time, sending a strong message that you are listening to the concerns expressed. At the end of the day, we all just want to be heard and have our concerns validated. It’s just that, when we are under fire, it is so easy to forget this.

Validating the concerns of others is not saying you agree, but that you have heard them. The next time you find yourself challenged by a loud or anxious voice, remember that kind words are more likely to create a sense of validation, and that can help lead to an optimal outcome.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.