Daring to confront

Have you ever felt guilty for taking a stand against challenging behavior? If you have, you’re not alone. It’s certainly easier to delay confrontation than it is to decide, “Enough is enough,” and take action. Far too often, we allow wrong behavior to continue until an eruption occurs that could have been avoided had we dared to confront.

In an earlier post, I told you about confronting, as a nursing student, a physician who used finger-snapping as a means of communicating with nurses. Well, guess what? Years later, history repeated itself. By that time, I was a charge nurse, and I couldn’t believe I was, once again, witnessing a physician snap his fingers to get the attention of nurses. It was déjà vu all over again.

I still recall the outrage of the nurses. “He shows no respect for nursing staff,” some of them complained, but no one dared confront the physician about his behavior. The situation was delicate. After all, he was a surgeon who commanded power in that hospital. Colleagues said, “Never cross him. You’ll get fired!”

It was déjà vu all over again! 

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Hearing those comments gave me pause, but I didn’t want to see nurses treated with disrespect. Usually, I didn’t have contact with this surgeon unless he wanted to complain that a nurse wasn’t moving fast enough. Another issue was that he would take all the charts, thereby creating problems for nurses who were trying to complete their charting in a timely manner.

Because politics and institutional power were involved, confronting this physician would not be easy, but I knew my nurse colleagues, who were fed up with his behavior and were losing morale, expected me to take action. After pondering what to do, I came up with a plan. The intervention would be simple. To force the physician to interact with me, all the other nurses would be with patients in their rooms.

Like clockwork, he came to the floor the next day to complete his rounds, this time accompanied by residents, and, as usual, the finger-snapping began. I intentionally ignored him. The snapping continued, but I remained silent. Growing frustrated, he finally blurted out, “Don’t you hear me talking to you?” He was speaking loud enough that the other nurses came out of the patients’ rooms, and the residents stood aghast. This was my opportunity.

Walking over to him, I said, “Hello, Doctor. My name is Chris. I am the charge nurse, and I have a simple request. Do not feel you need to snap your fingers to get my attention. I prefer that you address me as Chris. Also, I was wondering if we could agree on a time for you to chart so my nurses could have the charts back in time to complete their documentation?”

To my surprise, he responded, “No problem, Chris. We certainly do not want to increase the hospital’s budget,” and he chuckled. The residents stood with their mouths open. From that day forward, he never tried to get a nurse’s attention on that unit by snapping his fingers, and, yes, we were able to arrange for a suitable time for him to review charts.

Every nurse asked me, “How did you do that? I cannot believe his response.” The only insight I had to share was that, as a student, I had learned to assert myself and not allow a physician to treat me as an object—to objectify me—and my refusal to let him do so disrupted his improper behavior. Nurses do have power when we affirm our role and identity.

I knew that both the physician and I shared a desire for our patients to heal, and, to make that happen, we needed to function as a team. From that time forward, he would say, “Chris, how are my patients doing today?” I realize that communication challenges are complex, and confronting doesn’t always turn out as well as this encounter did, but the surgeon and I both discovered that a simple introduction that began with “Hi, my name is Chris” can stop disrespectful communication in its tracks and lead to positive outcomes.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

My mother got it right!

I grew up with five brothers, so I am acquainted with the nature of competition. My brothers excelled at every sport and set school records, and, like a typical younger brother, I tried to be like them. I tried playing basketball and football. It was not a pretty sight. But there was one sport I excelled in, and that was track and field. I was named the fastest sprinter and won awards.

It was during that time of my life that I learned other kids were breaking the rules in a variety of ways to win—to be the best at any cost. My mother taught me, however, that it was important to discover my talent; even if it meant finding I did not excel in a particular sport, musical instrument, or school subject. Her point was, we cannot be good at everything, and we are better off not cutting corners just to prove a point.

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My mother got it right! Envying the talents of peers can lead to poor decisions that prevent us from discovering our own talents and intellectual gifts. I have heard stories of athletes who pursued esteemed titles at any cost only to be disqualified and lose the title in the end.

As children, many of us were taught that “cheaters never prosper,” and we’ve seen this to be true. Whether we are students, administrators, or scientists, we should never compromise our integrity for fame or notoriety. No amount of recognition is worth that cost. Pursue your dreams and goals with integrity.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

This season, give of yourself!

Can you believe the holidays are upon us? I am amazed at how quickly the time has passed. As we celebrate with family and friends, we need to remain cognizant not only about our mental health, but others as well. While the holidays are a happy time for many of us, they are not for some. This season can be a time of sadness for those who have experienced loss or are alone.

This year, as I saw the holidays approaching, I challenged myself and friends to make an effort to reach out to those who may be estranged from their families or find themselves struggling to get through the holidays—perhaps by inviting them to dinner or making ourselves available. It is so easy to be consumed by our own happiness that we fail to look beyond our own comfort and joy.

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During this season, let’s reach out, bearing in mind that bringing joy to others is the greatest gift of all.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

I am a nurse

Like many of you, I have been following the Ebola situation, both here and abroad. Listening to media reports is reminiscent of the early days of the AIDS epidemic when we were all trying to find our way through endless speculation about viral transmission. As I watched the two infected nurses from Texas brought out of obscurity and thrust into the limelight—a place I am certain they never imagined they would find themselves—I was pleased to hear so many commentators mentioning the important role nurses have within the health care system.

One physician observed, “It is important we do not demonize nurses, as they are brave professionals who are on the front lines, saving patients’ lives.” Despite the intense political debates currently taking place, nurses are still the most trusted of health care professionals, and patients look to us when searching for answers in these uncertain times. No matter what the threat is to public health, nurses will be there to provide guidance, as we have for centuries, with these comforting words: “It’s going to be OK. I am a nurse.”

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those the promote products or services will not be posted.

I wouldn't change a thing!

One aspect I love about the profession of nursing is the tremendous opportunity it offers to pursue various career paths. My students often ask how I ended up in academia and, if I could do things over again, would I have done something different. My answer is always the same: “No, I would not have changed a thing. I believe we are called to fulfill a purpose on this planet, and nursing has allowed me to make good on the commitment I made to my grandmother to be a force of healing in the world.”

Like many of you, I have worked in a variety of areas, but feel a profound sense of gratitude working in academia. As academicians, we are charged with the great responsibility of shaping future nurses—clinicians, scientists, educators—for a profession endowed with a plethora of opportunities. Whether in the hospital, community, or academic setting, our common bond is that we are nurses. All of us contribute in unique ways to ensure that we have a competent workforce for an ever-changing landscape. I do not know where my students will end up, but one thing for sure: By becoming members of the most trusted profession on this planet, they will use their talents and compassion to improve the lives of many.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Kind words go a long way

As nurses, we encounter families and friends of our patients. When loved ones with a vital interest in the outcome of a patient’s health are anxious, engaging with them can sometimes be challenging. As caregivers, we are sometimes questioned—grilled—about whether or not we know what we are doing, which can really test one’s capacity to be kind and compassionate.

Having been on the receiving end of some intense grilling, I am well aware of how easy it is to become defensive when our skills are questioned or challenged. Over time, I have grown to view these socratic interrogations as anxiety about the unknown and, for loved ones in distress, a means to gain control.

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If a family member or patient raises his or her voice to us, it is important to remember that responding with kind words is more likely to decrease anxiety while, at the same time, sending a strong message that you are listening to the concerns expressed. At the end of the day, we all just want to be heard and have our concerns validated. It’s just that, when we are under fire, it is so easy to forget this.

Validating the concerns of others is not saying you agree, but that you have heard them. The next time you find yourself challenged by a loud or anxious voice, remember that kind words are more likely to create a sense of validation, and that can help lead to an optimal outcome.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those that promote products or services will not be posted.

Touching lives

The other day I was looking at photos from my college days, and came across one of my nursing classmates and me. The picture stirred memories of one of my favorite professors, truly a role model of what nursing is all about. I recalled how she walked with such purpose and deliberation. I remembered enjoying her visits with me as I provided care to patients and how much I wanted, like her, to inspire and motivate them.

She believed nurses are charged with the responsibility of touching every life they encounter, whether in the hospital or community. Everywhere we go, she taught us, we should remember that we represent a noble profession that should never be dishonored by unkind behavior toward another; that we are being watched by patients, families, and friends; and that we truly never know how many lives we touch on a daily basis.

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We all have cared for patients who may not have been kind to us during our interaction with them, which could have negatively influenced our perspectives about them. Interestingly, one of my colleagues shared a story about how a discharged patient returned with a beautifully written note, thanking the nurses for changing his life. The staff was shocked, because no one believed the patient regarded any of them positively. Listening to her story took me back to the principle my former professor instilled in me about showing unconditional regard toward patients, colleagues, friends, and families. Doing so provides nurses with a platform from which they can inspire all with whom they interact.

Touching lives. Isn’t that what nursing is all about?

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. Comments are moderated. Those the promote products or services will not be posted.